The Logical Philosopher

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

How to rob a bank

While eating lunch this week in the window seat of a restaurant that overlooked the courtyard of a rather large bank, I came across my get rich scheme for the day month. I serendipitously discovered how to ensure total avoidance of the security guards and, potentially, rob the bank without their interference.

In fact, if I had have been fast enough to get down to the bank and try my theory out, I could have been writing this post from some far off land without extradition rights, but I digress...

For those who rob banks I'm sure the rent-a-cops guarding them are their greatest fear. However, with this new patentable process I have totally eliminated this point of concern. Bring on the royalties...
Step 1: Locate bank that has large courtyard in high tourist traffic area.

Step 2: Have rhythmic rastafarian buskers play transfixing tribal drum and xylophone music in the courtyard. Dancing hippies are not necessary, but will add to the ambiance.

Step 3: Ensure bank hires lackluster security and before you know it they will all gravitate to the music, each dancing slightly to the beat in their own concealed way. Once their butts are wiggling and toes are awkwardly tapping you know you're set.

Step 4: Rob bank and run away.

While I concede the point that there may be a few details to smooth out in this, I am sure you will agree I have nailed the general theme. Perhaps there is something missing between Step 3 and 4, but regardless I just can't picture it not working. I can, however, totally see Quentin Tarantino doing a Reservoir Dogs II scene on this for the bank robbery. I'll be Mr. Pink!

Any other takers? We need a Mr. White to run the show.

And last, but not least, I think this is worthy of an Instructables post. Collaboration at it's finest hour.