The Logical Philosopher

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Bus Pickup Lines

Just when I thought I had nothing to write about I took the bus again:

As I sat in the back of the bus watching a man, about 45 years old, trying to pickup some younger girls I thought to myself: “If I was a 25 year old woman on the bus and was being hit on by an older man I would have some guiding principles to lean on when deciding to accept or reject his advances. The main standard to apply is that I would probably want him, or any man, to be hitting on me at the bus stop as he leaned out of his Ferrari to ask directions, not leaning across from me on the bus asking me “Don’t you work at X? I think I’ve seen you there…”.

Can’t you just see it - you know, that Pretty Woman moment where Vivian spies Edward for the first time on Hollywood Boulevard: She stares at the Ferrari, loathing it and all it represents. And then it's as if Vivian turns a switch. She fluffs her mane of hair, throws her shoulders back, thrusting her breasts out and sashays towards the car, a sexy, friendly smile on her face saying “Hey Sugar, you lookin’ for a date?

Discounting the Pretty Woman / hooker thing, and the fact that I’ve never been a 25 year old woman, I’m still pretty sure if I was on the bus today that would have been my thought pattern. Additionally, watching the man do the same thing to multiple other women on the bus would further solidify my standards of Ferrari vs. Public Transportation.

Now I know what you’re all thinking: “Man, this post corners like it’s on rails!”