Divorce Shower

"So it's final?"

"Yep, I'm free ... if you see it that way."

"So it's a congratulations type free?"

She paused and signed, shifting in her seat. "Yeah. I guess. I mean, I'm only 28 and already divorced. Cigarettes and coffee, those are the only pleasures left with me right now!"

"You know what you need."

"what?" the divorcee said, perking up.

"A divorce shower! Like a wedding shower but this time we'll have the Chippendale's!" her friend exclaimed. "And when we're done we'll go back to your place and put everything of his that he hasn't picked up yet up on eBay. So try and swipe his signed Wayne Gretzky Jersey you bought him last year. I mean, think of the divorce vacation you could get cash for!"

I neared my stop I stood, ready to depart the bus, but not before I heard them start into the love/hate portion of their discussion.

"You know what I love about him being gone? I have the whole bed. But you know what I hate about him being gone? Not having someone to warm my cold ass up when I get into bed!"

So let me get this straight. You want the whole bed AND a warm ass. Now I know why so many single women have a cat.