Overheard this week

To my younger, more hip, relative as we walked along the ocean:

"Hey, check that out. The river otters are playing across the inlet."

"The River Otters? What band is that?"

"Uh, it's mother nature, not a Band."

****

Two friends sharing a futon: "Those are very special parts. Don't poke them."

****

Sandritia, on trying to decide what crackers to put out for an appitizer. "Digestives? It's the dessert cracker!"

****

Little LP, during a car ride home:

"Dad, can we go to 7-11 for a slurpee?"

"Maybe."

He then turned to his little sister and wispered "We're not going because maybe means NO!"

Procrastonation

"Why do I always do this?"

"What?"

"You know, start the project the night before?" She plopped herself down at the kitchen table, bring with her a stack of cookbooks so tall it could have passed for the beginnings of a bunker under construction.

Although she had been talking about it for over two weeks, the night before 30+ kid-friendly Christmas treats needed baked for pre-school class tomorrow, LP-ette was still undecided what to make.

"I mean, it's 10pm and I have all these treats to bake. Safeway is still open, will you go and pick something up for me?"

I looked across the table, mustered all my strength and gave my best evil eye. It was hard to do over the stack of books, but I still felt I gave it my best shot. "No. And you know why? Because lack of planning on your part shouldn't be an emergency on my part - especially when you talked about planning for at least 2 weeks solid."

"You didn't answer my original question. Why do I always do this!"

"I know why. Like a Delta Force sniper, you are a highly trained to procrastinate. In fact, you are so skilled at it, you can do it without thinking. It comes as natural as breathing. Now that's a skill to be proud of."

She looked over at me and with almost no effort gave me back an evil eye that made mine melt.

"You want me to get my keys, right?"

"Yeah."

"Will 2 dozen cookies be enough?" I asked, getting up and reaching for my coat and car keys.

"Yes."

"And should I pickup a Starbucks Latte as well?"

"Yep."

Later, as I departed from Starbucks and felt the Jedi force wash off me, it was only then that I realized she had another, more powerful, skill to recon with. Not only was I her unwitting procrastination backup, but I also doubled as her Starbucks delivery boy. And it all started with her needing to bake cookies. All I could think was Wow. She's good.

One down, two to go!

While the snowstorm subsided (and turned to flooding) I still am busy working out the details and subject-to's of a potential property purchase.

On the property front things have been going well, considering I am trying to coordinate the water, septic and other tests while I am 200km's away.

I have also spent the past 2 weeks dealing with the police and lawyer for my tenant, trying to negotiate getting her stuff moved out so I can re-rent the condo and not go through the courts to get her tossed out. While I do work with corporate lawyers most of the week in my job and have little problems with the profession, the criminal one I have been dealing with definitely wins the most "unhelpful lawyer of the year" award. Here's how our conversation(s) went**:

"So can you inquire with your client about arranging removal of her items?"

"I'm sorry, I can't comment on that."

"You can't comment, or don't know, or do know and won't say?"

"I'm sorry, I can't comment on that either."

"So what you're saying is you don't know."

"I can't comment on that either. You'll have to do what you have to do."

"So you are saying I should go and get an Order of Possession and take your client's stuff?"

"I can't comment on that either."

THEN on Friday afternoon I get a voicemail from the lawyer.

"I talked with my client and you have permission to move her items into storage."

No mention of how to move it.
No mention of where to move it.
No mention of who is paying for it.
No mention of how long I have to store it.

If I did call to inquire about the above, I am sure her reply would include the phrase "no comment."

I hope the property sale goes through because I will need a vacation from the tenant fiasco when this month is over. Next week will be the make or break for both points. Wish me luck.


**Disclaimer: Since I am quoting a lawyer who sounded like she would sue me at the drop of the hat, please not I am paraphrasing, and the conversation may not have gone exactly as quoted. There may, in fact, been one or two more "I can't comment on that" than I recall.

CCC 334(b)

In the past 2 weeks I have:

Been stuck in a snowstorm for 3 days - with two small children and only 1 days worth of clean clothes and diapers.

Travelled to a small gulf island to put an offer for sale on a property.

Drawn up an eviction notice for one of our tenants, whose cheques are bouncing and I just discovered was arrested for theft.

Now you know why I haven't been blogging...