The news of my death has been greatly exaggerated....

I can't believe I haven't posted since February... When I left my job I was all like "Holy crap, look at all the time I will have to blog!"  Now, after 8 months off I am all like "Holy crap, I'm so busy I need a vacation from my vacation so I can blog!".

I'm supposed to be taking a break. In reality, I have:

- Gone to Disneyland.
- Gone to Hornby Island.

- Gone into my office to study for my Patent Agent Exam
- Gone to Hornby Island again
- Gone to Vancouver
- Gone to Hornby Island again, again.
- Gone into my office again to continue to study for my Patent Agent Exam.
- Gone to Toronto
- Gone into my office again to (again) continue to study for my Patent Agent Exam.

Seems like a short list, but in all the 8 months I don't ever recall having more than a few days in the past few months to just lounge around. It seemed like the amount of case law I memorized was inversely proportional to my days off....

On my Hornby Island vacation, I took the time to build a small shed.  By "small" I mean big enough to be a "man-cave" (as my neighbor calls it), and by "shed" I mean, well, I'm not sure what I mean. What I don't mean is a shed to store stuff for the kids, or the wife, or basically anything but tools and a Foosball table.



(And my thanks to Doug for helping get the roof up + ensuring I had a good staple gun to get the shingles on!)

Now that I am back in town, I'll aim for some regular blog updates... I hope. Lots of changes in life, but seemingly no time to contemplate or write about them online.....

New Beginnings

Well, I resigned from my job last week.

"It's like Halley is the Godfather Part Two. That was an incredible movie, might be better than the original, all right? But no matter how much you love The Godfather Part Two, you still have to see the original to understand and appreciate the sequel"

- John Cusak's character, Jonathan Trager, in the movie Serendipity

I started 14 years ago as employee #201 in a small Victoria based technology company, and I leave as employee #125,000 (give or take a few) of a global fortune 500 company.

Along the way I have had more experiences than I ever imagined I would have when I started. I have traveled the world multiple times over, traversing England, France, India, Indonesia and selected cities (both good and bad!) across the USA and Canada. I had to figure out how to prepare for presentations from scratch while on 12 hour airplane rides in coach, do conference calls at 2am on a windy country road in the back of tuk-tuk's, and more importantly, how to pack for a 2 week business trip with only 1 carry-on suitcase. Sorting my "travel suitcase" this week gave me currency in about 7 varieties, and almost enough to stock a game of monopoly for the kids.

I met a lot of great people all over the world, and wouldn't trade the past 14 years for anything. LP-ette and the kids, on the other hand, are looking forward to me being home and taking a family vacation that does not involve me being on blackberries, apples or any other sort of technical fruit.

So what next, you ask?

Last September I signed up to write some legal exams in 9 weeks, which will consume all of my time, so my first order of business next week is to pack my truck (and dog!) and head away for a studying sabbatical on Hornby Island. I am looking forward to the cold and wet, my body warmed by statutes, regulations and applicable Supreme Court of Canada case law.

After that, who knows, but I am sure my Godfather Part Two will be more of an adventure than Godfather Part One.

2010 in review.

I can't believe I only posted 11 times in 2010. That's 10% of what I peaked at in 2006. Here was the summary of my year:

January to June: Pretty much a blur.... kept on pace to fly 100,000 miles.

July: Discovered that I promised LP-ette that I would build a deck with railings for her by end of the summer. Spend most of my evening sanding, routing and staining 4x4 fir to make railings.

August: A month on Hornby Island. (And I only had to work 2 weeks of my vacation!). My motto: Don't bug me when I'm on holiday. Scotch was drunk. Treeforts were built. Stars were watched. Here's a time-lapse shot I took over Lasqueti Island.

September: Hand mixed the 18 bags of cement with colorant that I bought in July and formed a cobblestone path. It looks cool, but man, what was I thinking?!?

October: Don't remember what happened, except I don't think spend much of it in Canada or a timezone that was amendable to my body.

November: Sleeping to recover from the previous month. I do remember that.

December: 2 weeks of craziness of finishing year end goals and then 2 weeks of researching a kayak build to start in the new year (more to come on that later).

And to top it all off, my "to read" bookshelf grew by about 15 books, instead of being reduced. I've got alot to catch-up on in 2011....

A 6 word memoir for 2008

This week, Opinionistas reminded me of the 6 word memoirs that Boing Boing made so cliche in 2008.

It actually took days to think. Think of my six succinct words.

Here were my top 2008 reminisces:

Experienced complex cultures with new perspectives.

French wine, Irish beer and Hornby Island.

Juxtaposition of knowledge created serindipitous opportunities.

I finally came down to this:

Traveled lots. Made progress. Got behind.

It was true on many levels....

An Obamanation

I made a Obamicon of myself at Obamicon.me


You should spend a few minutes on their Top Rated section. Some very funny ones have been uploaded...

For those wondering the backstory on the creater of the original Obama poster, Shepard Fairey, watch this short interview from the LA Times.

Buffed & Caulked

I spent a large part of today buffing and caulking. Yes, back to the renovation. After a 2 month break the time has come to get my workbelt back on.

Finally, after 4 months of using it, I sanded down the butcher block top we had installed in our kitchen. At 5’ x 7’ it took awhile, especially considering I started with 100 grit paper (which actually smoothed it beyond what the kitchen company delivered it as), and finally ending up at 220 grit. I was sanding with one hand, and running the vacuum with the other, so the mess was reduced to only a fine layer of dust everywhere.I buffed in some beeswax and oil mixture, which set up nicely. A second, and maybe third, coat tomorrow and I can call the main kitchen island as done. Unless you count the missing fake drawer front, missing recycling sorter, incorrectly installed pull out spice rack and…, well, a few more things. At least I managed to sand out the pen marks the kitchen installer put in, right after he installed the top. Arrg!

Then I caulked… since installing the trim 3 months ago, my plan of procrastinating until the joints had settled seemed to work. I filled about 30 corners – which seemed much worse than when I originally put the 30 corners together.

Tomorrow night I sand 30 corner joints, and prime the bare parts of the moulding.

I checked my calendar tonight and it has been 295 days since the renovation officially began (i.e., ground actually broken by the excavator), but over a year since we first gave our sketches to the architect and the contractor. It really is the last 10% takes 90% of the work, especially if your budget finished up before the contractor did, and he left it all for you to do!

We started with this:




We moved to this:




And then to this:




And, while not yet finally, but it felt like finally, to this:

Still to do in the coming months:

Paint the trim.

Build a closet. We now have a closet in the house, but with no door or shelves I have the task of making something to fit some old antique windows we have. Ikea just doesn’t feel right for this...

Rebuild the deck. I put a temporary one up to get our permit signed off. I am happy with a plywood deck, but LP-ette isn’t.

Move the old kitchen entrance way over 3”. Who would have thought a 2” mis-measurement by the kitchen designer would cost me 50+ hours in rewiring switches from one side of a door to another, all while needing to move the door over!

Re-drywall, tape, mud, sand, mud, sand, mud, sand, texture, prime and paint the 2’x6’ chunk of drywall the electrician had to cut off to get our new panel rewired.

Move the shed I built a few years back to the other side of the house. Not sure how I am going to do that…

Install the ceiling fans. I have 2 to install. On the 15 foot ceiling. With a 6’ step ladder. Not sure how I am going to get that one done either…

Landscape. Landscape. And Landscape more.

And next week my water tank gets delivered to Hornby, which is 3 months behind the schedule I thought I would be on.

AhhHH!!

Turkey Lurkey

I had a blog post done up entitled "Turkey Lurkey" but at the last minute it was vetoed by LP-ette.

"But how will you know I even posted it? You never read the site?"

"I'll know... woman's intuition. Do you really want to tangle with that?" she replied, letting the last line hang.

"errr. Ok. I'll post something else instead."

So today's post is brought to you by the animated French, in the form of a animated short:



It takes a second to get going but it is pretty funny. At the very least it will give you a reason to practice your french.

No Stokie for you!

Opps I did it again. Another bike accident, only this time I only managed to break 2 bones. Last Saturday I left for a short 1 hour ride, but arrived home via the hospital with one broken Radial Head, one cracked rib and one mad wife.

It was a great day for a ride. Sunny, but having just rained it was a little slippy out. I needed to do a errand so had decided to ride the back roads and stay around town. About 40 min into the ride I came across some railroad tracks.... and that is where I went down. One of my wheels must have slipped when I crossed the tracks, which were in my defence, at a 50 degree angle to the road. I remember seeing my wheel jam sideways, my bike instantly turning at a 50 degree angle but abruptly stopping thereafter, and then pure physics taking over and my body continuing to move in a straight line. Only without my bike.


I do recall the feeling of my head rebounding off the pavement at the same time as the rest of the side of my body hit the ground and literally slide to a grinding halt. Thankfully this time my helmet took a 2" crack right on the side. It is times like this when I remember why I wear a helmet.


As I lay there in the middle of the tracks, a car stopped and someone came running up. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?" I heard from up above.

I laid there for a moment, took stock of my injuries.
Feet moving? Check.
Arms moving? Check.
Neck sore? Negative.

Then I unbuckled my helmet and uttered my the first words that came to mind: "Man, my wife is going to be pissed."

And I was right. For the next few days she was answering the phone "Hello! I have 4 bikes for sale, which one do you want?"

Here's how my Text Message conversation when with my riding buddy waiting in ER to see the Doctor:

LP: At VGH after crashing my bike. Even got an ambulance ride. Shit
TK: What happened? Call me.
TK: Are you ok?
TK: No, is your bike OK?
TK: Another car? Is your Soloist OK?
TK: Get LP-ette to call me if you are getting turned into the Bionic Man.
LP: No car. It was my Trek.
TK: Whew! What did you do?
LP: Railroad Tracks.
TK: Don't think are are getting out of walking the dog this afternoon.

As you can see the importance of the bike was paramount. A true measure of a riding buddy.

With no riding for almost 2 weeks I have been itching to get out on the bike this week. I was thinking to bundle myself up like Tyler Hamilton in the 2003 Tour de France.


Because if I'm going to break some bones I may as well have an epic story to follow....

How to set a PR at your next Marathon

So after 40 days of not-so-intense training, I did the marathon again today.

I can say with conviction, that less training will actually increase your time. And by less I mean about 70% less than recommended.

Here's how it went:

3km - my neck started to seize up. Usually it starts to seize on my long runs, around 23km. I am 20km early for a blowup. Or a 15km blowup, depending on who you are.

5k - I realize my 6am breakfast is now digested, and I am hungry. Luck me, I have a gel pack on me. Mmmm, vanilla goop for a snack. I also realize that I haven't raced for 3 years, which means I haven't practiced running and grabbing water off a table for 3 years. The grab goes well, the drinking it without spilling 95% onto the ground does not go well.

8k - my knee starts to tighten up and I start to think my Chiropractor may be right. I decide right then and there not to give her the satisfaction of being right. Foolish or Wise? you ask? Only the next 38k will tell....

10k - time = 54 minutes, right on pace for a 4 hour race. I look back and I am about 1/2km ahead of the 4hour pace bunny. Right then and there I decide to see if I can run a sub four hour Marathon. I think the endorphins had a large part in making that decision for me.

18k - the elites pass me (at their 28km mark) and I feel slow. And fat.

21.2k - time = 1:57. Still ahead of the pace bunny. I would have slowed down but he wasn't that cute.

26km - I am officially doing the longest run of the year. Surprisingly my mind has not reach the WTF are you doing to your body point in the race.

30km - time = 2:45. Sweet. I am on pace for a PB, and despite the burning sensation and numbness in my neck and hands. At least this race the burning sensation didn't happen elsewhere (that for another story).

32km - I lose my Motrin somewhere in a portapotty. I was sore, but not sore enough to dive in after it.

34km - I start to walk and get passed by the pace bunny. My blister, which feels larger than my entire foot, has reach boiling point. Pull off my shoe and a grain of sand falls out. Not any grain - a small grain which I suspect was entirely shaped like a pointy star.

I think back to a race I did where I saw a sign "You think 10k is easy? Well, you are in luck - the race just got easy."

I also reach the WTF are you doing to your body point in the race. I pushed it out. It was an epic feeling of mind over matter.


35km - I hear someone yell at me from behind. (full disclosure: I was delirious in pain so I am paraphrasing what I heard, from what was said). "Hey LP, nice post yesterday. Your Chiropractor sounds like a bitch!" I turned around to see my Chiropractor. Boy, can you say Awwkwarrrrrd!

38km - I realize that pain is temporary, but a sub-four hour marathon lasts forever. I pretend I am blocking out a 3 and 5 year old running around on Christmas morning after eating candy in their beds. Yes, the same technique can be used for blocking out physical pain.

39km - This song comes onto my iPod



I guess it is the Eye of the Tiger of the Rap generation. Whatever, it seemed to work.

Then, right at that second my GPS battery died and my Average Pace and Race Countdown. All I can think is Shit, now I have to go oldschool and do pacing math, which will probably reinforce the 'WTF are you doing to your body' thought process.

40km - I realize that yes, pain is temporary, but it is also right here, right now.. Again the Block your Children technique comes in handy and I put my head down and just give 'er.

My final time was a 4:02, a full 13 minutes faster than my PR, of which I did after 13 long weeks of training. Pfft! I think. Next year I wonder if I can do a sub 4 hour marathon if I cut it down to just 30 days of training.

Epilogue - It took 20 minutes to walk to my car, even though it was less than a km away. I didn't even make it across the crosswalk while the light was green. My time may have been faster, but my epilogue is going to be much slower this time.

Day 39 of my 40 Days to a Marathon plan.

So in the past 39 days I managed to increase my mileage 130% per week, slightly above the doctor recommended increase of 10%.

I went from:
Drinking beer most of the summer, and generally lounging about on Hornby.

To, starting in the first week of September:
A 5k run (to make sure I could still run)
A 10k run (to make sure I could still do 10k)
A 8k speed run (to make sure I could still run fast)
A bike ride (to the running store to pickup some body-glide)
Then a 16k, 21k, 26k, 10k, 25k, a 20k and then finally, a car ride to the chiropractor for a pre-race checkup.

To say she was not impressed at my 40 day plan was a slight understatement. This was her rant: "You know, both you and my husband, you're crazy. He decided to do the same with only 33 days notice. And you know what?" At this point there was no replying, as I saw her talk with the same fury that LP-ette talks to me in. "Let me tell you what. I have to pick up the pieces of both of you! No sympathy here! None! Don't come to me when you're broken!"

All I could think of was about her husband beating me by one week less of training. Damn. If I was only lazy one more week, I too would be that cool.

Today I found myself in a bind - with a knee problem I couldn't stretch out I needed an emergency chiropractor visit to loosen things up. I am not sure what was worse: My wife's face when I said I was leaving a family function to go to the Chiropractor, or my Chiropractor's face when I showed up in her waiting room.

"Have I told you that you're stupid?" she asked me, as she inflicted a serious amount of pain during her adjustment. "I mean, seriously."

The only reply I had was one of pain. "Holy crap, where you are pushing, that really hurts."

I laid on her table for awhile, while she continued to prod and adjust my knee. "So will my knee hold out?" I asked. "It feels like if it will either blow up by 10k, or loosen up and I'll be good to run."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure your knee will make it to 10k. Don't worry about that, just worry that at 15k something else in your undertrained body will blow up."

So wish me luck tomorrow! With all the motivational talk I've been given, I am sure that the eye of the tiger feeling I have will be the only thing pulling me through!

Battleship Grey

How come people at the dentist's office just don't listen?

To the 5 year old at the dentist today, who washed his hands with the Listerine, next time listen to your mom when she yells 'NoooOOO!!!". Yes, Listerine will sting those cuts little man.

To the self important business woman who kept trying to book a facial with multiple massage parlors, that just happen to fit into her "important and full schedule", next time read the sign that says "For the comfort of those in the waiting room, please turn off your cell phone or blackberry". Oh, and yes, we all heard you then whisper "Is there any students available to do it at a reduced rate?".

To the Hygienist that kept leaning on my face to get a better reach with your tool: Yes, for the last time, that hurts. My head was not meant to deform into the unnatural shape of your tool, particularly when the tip is pointing into my forehead.

Vivid moments

I found this scrawled in my journal. No date. No context. Spelling mistakes are included as written:

Had a dream last night. Very quniten terinteno.
Samari swords, escape from rooms.
‘come with me’ – followed into dark alleyways.

Then there was this one:

Break the glass - safety at the edges.
Get by the ****
Seal off from the virus.

Sometimes when I have vivid dreams, I try to write down the high points so I can remember them later. Occasionally I wake up and think “Man, that dream was a major motion picture type dream”. A few months ago I even dreamt a plot for a cool sci-fi movie, which is strange because I don’t like sci-fi movies.

Apparently with this one I must have thought it was just for a local film festival, or I would have written more. Maybe I can get optioned by Lions Gate Entertainment to do some writing.

Day 8 of my 40 day Marathon Training....

It has been 8 days since I decided to see if I can do a Marathon in 40 days. I have managed 4 runs and 1 bike, with my long one at about 16k. Looking at my past marathon schedules I was supposed to be doing a 30k run. I think my legs were happy I did the 16k.

This week I've got 2 short runs, 1 bike (for cross-training) and then shoot for a 20k next weekend.

For my alternate cross-training exercise I put up 550' of moulding in our new addition. As I was cutting and nailing up the moulding, I accidentally cut one too short, and had already nailed it up.

"Awww, Mother f..., I mean shoot!" I exclaimed, as I looked down from the ladder to see Little LP standing under me.

"Dad..." he drawled. "You said a bad word."

"What did I say?"

"You said 'shoot'. And that's bad. Unless you meant to say para-shoot!"

40 days to a Marathon

After another week on Hornby Island, this time with all my inlaws camping on our property, I have multiple posts ready to write. Future topics include:

"How my inlaws put the fun back in dysfunctional"

"How my friend's piece of frozen assturd got me out of spooning with my wife"

"How I got a woodie when making smores"

and my favorite:

"How we put the letter g back into camping"

But before that I have decided to throw the gauntlet down. Apart from a few sporadic 20k jaunts, I haven't really run for the past three years as I've been too tired. Yes, you read that right. I have been tired. For three frickin' years. I go for a run, and come home and need to sleep. I go ride, and come home and need to sleep. I go to work,and come home and need to sleep. Heck, some days I wake up from a sleep and need to go for a nap. This past month I came to the conclusion that, well, fuck it. If I am going to be tired I may as well be tired while actually training for something I can pull off. Something simple like training for a marathon in 40 days.

LP-ette told me tonight I was crazy. Actually, there was a verb in front of the word crazy (or is it a noun or an action verb?). I kind of agree, but then again I did an Ironman on a drunken bet, so there has to be some crazy in me somewhere. Here is my thory: I estimate in 40 days I can work about 6 to 8 shorter tempo runs, and 4 longer runs in. A few 20k's, a 25k and a 30k. If I can do that I am going for it.

So last week I ramped up with a 5k run, then a 12k around Helliwell Park. As I wound around the parks cliffside trails, enjoying the solo view, I was sold. Mind over matter, for 5 hours tops was all I could think. The next day I even managed a cross training 2 hour mountain bike ride. Who knew I would go to the dark side of biking to train in my 40 day window!

My motto will be "as long as the body holds up, I'll do it."



And if I finish, I can finally give that big black SUV the one fingered salute!

And for all the loving support I got along the way? I'll get my wife this shirt:


... and then I will probably go for a nap...

Check back for updates!

My Blogging Mojo is Back...

I was up at the crack of dawn today - my bag packed for a quick hike around Helliwell Park. Arriving at the point, I sat. I contemplated. I sat some more. Even at the hour of 7am about 30 people jogged by my place of contemplation. All I could think of was "man, fit people get up early."

I got back home and pulled out my blog notebook. It had been well worn until this spring, and needed put away until it called.

I think I found my blogging mojo.

See you in a few days.

LP.

More Cheese Please

2 weeks of france have opened my eyes to Artisan Cheese and Kilkenny.

Been busy getting out from under my email since then.... more updates to follow...

It will be a food-gasmic update. Old school LP at it's best. I promise.

Thanks for being patient.

Back from France...

But I am already packing to go again!

After a 2 day layover in Nashville for meetings, and a 1 day in Dallas due to weather, I finally arrived in France. During my travels I had some great stories written up in my mind, such as:

Eating at the Pork Only restaurant with the vegetarian in the group

Accidentally ordering Pigs Ears and Feet off the menu. Now we all know what 'tête' and 'pieds' means in French.

The Vodka Bar... which only served vodka. And lots of vodka. I now know how to translate "spicy vodka" on the menu. I'll leave it at that.

French bathrooms. In a 2000 year old city it was amazing how the upgrades were only about 100 years the times.

The 68 gate sprint through Frankfurt Airport. Yes all 68 gates. And they still closed the flight out on us.

Upon my return from my travels my work kicked into high gear and I was wrapping up a project that I needed to get out the door this week. There have been lots of stories, just no time to write! It's funny how when I took a 5 week break from blogging how many people called or emailed me to ask where I went. It was like their free source of fine literature had dried up. I didn't know I was in such demand. Either that or I know which people really have lots of time on their hands to read things online.

Tonight I'm packing for another 2 week trip, flying out tomorrow. Here's hoping this time I get some time to write. At the very least I will try to recount the Spicy Vodka story. The ending has a great kick to it.

Stuck in DC

Yesterday I was in Nashville.

Then today I left for France, but got delayed and stuck in Washington DC with no luggage.

Tomorrow I do not really care where I am as long as I can find some clean clothes.

So far it has been a trip of many numbers:
10: "Just missed that plane by 10 minutes" x 2
5: "All I needed was 5 more inches"
4: Number of free Season Tickets to the Nashville Predators Game
3: Number of bars we had to go to find an open kitchen in DC at midnight.
2: Number of room keys we all got.

Let's hope tomorrow brings more happy numbers to us all.

Hornby Island here we come!

After 10+ years of saving,
3+ years of searching,
2+ years of setbacks...

It is finally official, we found exactly what we were looking for, and the deal is ready to be closed!

Wanted

Minimum ½ acre island property

ferry boat accessible

walking distance (with 2 kids) to a public, sandy beach

Sandstone bluffs to walk on a plus

It was serendipitous, as we actually were up looking at different properties when this one, which had been taken off the market, was suggested by the realtor as a private sale. Within the day of us getting back from our 1 day adventure turned into a 3 day tour, the offer was in and we were on our way to testing the structural integrity of the outhouse, and making sure the well was not full of iron supplements for the kids.

While the only structure on the lot is an outhouse, we have our work cut out for us, but I'm hoping I have a lifetime to get the list done that Logical Philosoph-ette has started to draw up for me.

This is the view from the Galleon Beach across the road:




And from Grassy Point, a 5 minute walk:



And there is even a bike shop! Maybe this summer I will pull my Kona back out and turn back from being a roadie to the dark side of mountain biking.



Many thanks to Donna at Coast Realty for helping make it happen.

This summer is so going to rock.

Squirrel vs. Bunny

I saw a squirrel and bunny try to simultaneously make it across 2 lanes of rush traffic today.

The result: Squirrels are much faster than bunnies. In fact, the evidence is probably still on the road.