The Logical Philosopher

Friday, January 27, 2006

Bus Etiquette: please don't pick your nose

After catching the bus a few times this week I have, as a public service, complied some simple bus etiquette guidelines for people to consider.

I will start with a warning: For the love of God, if you are going to get on the bus and sit in the back row picking your nose using the entire lenght of your finger(s), at least make sure nobody is watching...

  1. Is it NOT considered cool to be a new mother on the bus with your 3 month old baby while trying to reclaim your pre-child body by attempting to squeeze into your halter top, thus exposing a stomach of stretch marks and c-section incision marks.
    Mental note for situation similar in the future: keep inside voice about the halter top and strech marks inside your head because new mothers can pack a good punch when emotionally unstable about their post-baby looks.

  2. When a mentally challenged individual is on front of the bus repeatedly pulling the stop cable, even thought is has already dinged, it is probably not the best idea to to keep jerking the cable at the back of the bus. Although this does immediately rocket his hand back up right after he pulls the cable it is a no-no in the cultural etiquette book.
    Sometimes etiquitte and funny can't be used in the same situation, and in retrospect this was probably one of those moments...whoops.
  3. Is does, apparently, also run afoul of bus etiquette when you make a run for the departing bus and have the following occur: when it stops again you only put your foot on the open door ledge and retie your shoe before walking away in the direction you came. That is "so dastardly immature," or so the old english man sputtered to me today after the bus drove away from us.

This concludes my seminar on bus etiquette. Thank you, and have a nice ride.