“It’s more complex than it looks.... It’s not just all thrusting and plunging you know. It takes technique.”I sat there watching him, wondering if he was talking about accessing our favourite guilty treat (cactus cut dip) with the cactus cut fry or the art of blogging. For a long time I have had a standing invitation from the Logical Philosopher himself, a.k.a. "LP", to give blogging a try via a guest post. I never really had the wherewithal to take him up on it before as I was still quite fragile from my last serious encounter with his blog but he told me he would give me some tips during dinner out one night and tip he did. He tipped me at least but our server not so much… here’s how our tip session went:
LP: First, you need a good starting line. Reel ‘em in.
Server: Can I get you something to drink?
LP: Coke please
Server: Pepsi OK? ….
I’ve known LP a long time. Like since the days when he had to beat them off with a duotang when all the swooners came hunting for a grad date. Oh there were swooners. In all that time, Pepsi has never been OK. I look at him, I look at our poor server and think – she has no idea what’s coming.
LP: Pepsi’s got no bite.
Server: Sure Pepsi’s got bite.
LP: Pepsi’s bite is like a chiouah lounging on a beach. Fine bring me a Pepsi – but for the love of Paris Hilton please bring a wedge of lime. And if I don’t like it, can I send it back? [then to me] Be yourself. Tell your stories.
Our dinner came along with the offending Pepsi and wedge of lime. We talked about being real. Carrying a theme. Taking liberties with the facts for the sake of a good story. LP was having a beef dip, me the standard stromboli sandwich. LP looks at his beef dip.
LP: This beef dip. It’s a lot of beef.
One of the things I love about LP is his uncanny willingness to say out loud the thoughts that most of us keep to ourselves. No sensor there. No vetting. You get what you get. And via his blog – we all get a bit of that refreshing honesty. Meanwhile, I think to myself “didn’t he say he had a smokie for lunch?”
Server: How is everything. Can I get you a refill of Pepsi?
LP: [He looks at his glass which is still 2/3 full] It lacks bite.
Server: Would you prefer root beer?
LP: [shaking his head as she walks away] She’s missing the point.
I couldn’t write notes in my little book fast enough. I had picked up my pen when I heard the word “refill”. Our dinner continued. Me gleaning what wisdom I could from LP though I was getting the idea that a good blog was as much about good writing as it was about a good personality. Unshaken, our server approached the table with the bill in hand. She looks LP squarely in the eye and delivers the final pre-tip blow.
Server: I actually can’t stand Coke myself. Have a nice night!
Indeed! I hope there’s a tip pool.
*Editors note: I remember Sandritia writing things down that evening during dinner, giggling to herself everytime I seemed to speak. Or maybe I did speak, turing my "inside voice" to the usual "outside voice". Note to self: Learn to mutter quietly to myself instead. All I can say is Thank God she didn't talk about the bike store incident that preceded dinner...